From Rabbit Hole to Dream Job

In late January/early February I took a steep dive into the rabbit hole. I was in there for long enough to settle in, furnish and decorate, and swim around in the self-pity pool for daily exercise. It was more of a flounder and sink than a swim really. Vermont in the dead of winter is conducive to such wallowing – dismal, endless, dark and frigid. I was epic meltdown miserable.

I had made the decision to leave a job in corporate retail that was suffocating me with its mindless rigidity and dress code requiring a forest green poly-blend button up shirt with roll up tabs on the sleeves. No thank you. Corporate retail blows. I was going to re-set – take time to figure out how to generate income through my computer and start a business as a virtual assistant in the digital marketing arena. I signed up for two online courses and set about the plan with laser focus and willful resolve. I had it all figured out. I’d take the courses, build a website, find clients and voila! I can work from anywhere.

Well…you know that old saying about the best laid plans? My perfect plan looked more like a surprise attack from a rabid tribe of monkeys trapped and brawling in the jungle between my ears. I completely lost it. Not like psych ward lost it, but I was just one big fat bummer ALL THE TIME. The internal dialogue looked something like…

“Waaah waaah waaaah! How did I end up here? I’m 50, divorced, alone, unemployed, and living in a state I don’t want to be in. I can’t possibly succeed starting a business again. I’m going to be destitute and homeless in short order. I hate digital marketing. Social media makes me want to vomit. If I have to design sales funnels for online life coaches I might shoot myself. Optimize this, SEO that, engaging content, compelling content, original content, more, more, more, now. Oh hell no! I can’t do this. I hate my life. I am doomed to be an embarrassment to all who know me. I am unworthy. I am lost. I’m a total failure. I’m in a free-fall with no wings. And the grand, predictable and completely false finale of….wait for it…No One Loves Me.”

Good times. I was a hot mess and this was pre-pandemic. Somehow the pandemic didn’t lead to a new depth of wallowing, due perhaps to the whole entire world being a hot mess. At least I’m not alone! There’s plenty of room in the rabbit hole for a world party. Come on down!

The Paradigm Shifts

Fast forward to late April and “The Voicemail that Changed my Life.” This was the re-set from rabbit hole to rainbow.

But wait…..there’s more.

I landed in Kona with two contacts. One of them texted me on my first day out of quarantine. She said,

“There’s a middle school art job open at my school. You should apply.”

Wait. What? No way. There’s no way. So, you’re telling me that I’ve moved to paradise to live in a palace and now my dream job is waiting for me? NO F***ING WAY. You cannot make this stuff up. I am living someone else’s life.

A mad scramble, two interviews and one week later I got the job.

I GOT THE JOB!

I am the new Middle School Art Teacher at the prestigious Hawaii Preparatory Academy in Waimea, Hawaii. I start August 3^rd.

Had you asked me on any given day over the last 15 years, “So Ali, what is the dream?” my response would have been, “To live in Hawaii and teach art.” I kid you not. Ask anyone who knows me. They will smile and nod.

Let’s just review here real quick. I quit a grown up job with big girl benefits. I made a plan that sucked. I broke down. I sobbed to my brother. My brother ran into my childhood best friend’s dad who then handed me a free palace for 4 months in Kona. I sold all my stuff, took the leap and moved during a global pandemic to a state with the highest unemployment rate in the nation. I landed, quarantined for 14 days then got a text from one of two people I know on the island who happens to work at HPA. The middle school art teacher suddenly decided to retire after teaching there for 38 years. I applied and got the job.

This is just straight up crazy. If I didn’t believe in manifestation before, I do now. If I didn’t believe that the universe, or God or whatever you want to call it has a plan for me, I do now. If I didn’t believe that hard, soul searching, gut wrenching work ultimately pays off, I do now. I am floating in this surreal vortex of pot of gold, once in a lifetime, (but more likely never), goodness. Why me? Why now? Who knows. I’m just along for the ride.

I moved to Hawaii and got my dream job.

Aloha.