Listen to Your Voicemails

The Voicemail that Changed My Life

Date
Jun, 07, 2020

I’m terrible about listening to voicemails. My iPhone displays high numbers in tiny red circles to remind me, but I can’t be bothered to keep up. I was purging the red circle about a month ago and noticed a message left in mid-February from a Portland, OR area code that I didn’t recognize. I could easily have deleted it in mindless cleansing mode, but Portland is my hometown so I paused.

I had to listen to the message three times to absorb who it was. This was no telemarketer. My first distracted run through gleaned the phrases, “your brother,” and “I’m calling from Hawaii.” I go in again. Is this my brother Mitch calling? What’s with Hawaii? I turn up the volume and give it my full attention. Round 2 reveals the caller. It’s my childhood best friend’s dad. So random. It’s been at least a quarter century since we’ve spoken. I haven’t kept up with his daughter either beyond her Christmas cards which elicit annual guilt at my lack of reciprocal holiday cheer. The message needs a third listen to fully absorb why he’s calling.

“Uh Ali, Ted Smith. Molly’s dad?* Uh, I renewed my acquaintance with your brother Mitch this week and he said you were back East and maybe considering some changes, and I said ‘Oh gosh – I just thought Ali was the greatest.’ Uh… I’d love to chat with you as you contemplate your future. Uh… my number is 503-###-#### and I’m in Hawaii right now so that’s like 5 hours from the East Coast and I’m up. I’m up early in Hawaii. Umm, I’d just love to catch up with you and support you in any way I can. Thanks, bye.”

Little did I know that the trajectory of my life was to flip a swift 180 in that moment.

First, it is Ted Smith calling which is beyond random. It’s not like we’ve kept up over the years. Molly and I were connected at the hip when we were little – true best friends – the maid of honor kind, but it had been forever. Second, what’s with Hawaii? Why is he calling me from Hawaii? My heart was pounding for two reasons. One – I’d been sitting on that message for more than 2 months and hadn’t returned his call. This is nothing short of horrifying. My mind races immediately to what he must think of me. Flaky loser much? The real heart rate increaser is the Hawaii factor. What is going on here? Why is he calling me from Hawaii?

We arrange a time to connect the next day. What ensues is an hour long run-down of my adult life story. He’s gleaned from conversation with my brother that I might be experiencing a “period of transition.” I walk him through my meandering career path from art teacher to stay at home mom raising naked babies on the beach in Hawaii. The move to Vermont, the whirlwind entrepreneurial endeavor, the alcohol induced face-plant into ego crushing failure. The entrepreneurship facilitator, the land-locked surf shop manager, and my most recent dark experiment in the horrors of corporate retail. He asks about the end of my marriage, the state of the family and what’s next. I explain that I find myself floundering in a free-fall at 50. I have no idea how I wound up here. This was NOT the plan.

I am single, on the tender precipice of an empty nest, unemployed, in a dark wintery land-locked state that I don’t want to be in, financially dependent on my father, without a clue of what I want to be when I grow up. There’s a fusion of strength and self pity in my tale. I’m not hopeless, but most definitely lost. Throw a global pandemic into the mix and voila’!

What follows is a wise stream of glass-half-full thinking from my best friend’s dad. He hasn’t known the adult me, but he somehow understands exactly where I stand.

“There’s a word for this Ali. It’s called a mid-life crisis. There’s a number of ways you can look at this though. You’ve had all these amazing career experiences that have given you solid marketable skills. Your boys are in good shape and ready to launch. You’re in this very unique position to jump at whatever opportunity might come your way. What a cool place to be in.”

From my shame-saturated hole, I know he’s right.

“You know Ted, the dream is to get back to Hawaii, but I just can’t wrap my brain around how to do it, and now there’s a global pandemic.”

“Well Ali, that’s actually why I’m calling.”

Mic drop.

Hold. The. Phone.

What is happening here?!!! Oh my God. OOOOMMMMGGGG!

He proceeds to tell me that he and his wife fell in love with Hawaii 20 years ago. They’d explored all the islands and return several times a year. They ultimately purchased a home on the Kona coast of the Big Island where they spend 3 months every winter.

“It’s a lovely home on an abandoned golf course and we rent it through VRBO when we’re not there. We have 38 five star reviews.”

My mind is racing. I’m watching someone else’s movie. Where is this going? He continues,

“As I’m sure you probably know, Hawaii has shut down all short term rentals so the house has been empty. I feel like properties should be lived in. We’re not planning to go until October. You are welcome to stay there if you’d like. We’d rather have someone there.”

Holy Hawaii Batman.

“Ted, you can’t dangle an offer like that in front of this particular human unless you’re serious. Are you serious?”

This is no time for dancing around the dream. I get right to the point. This can’t possibly be happening. It’s way too good to be true. I start squashing the possibility immediately in an attempt to dodge epic disappointment. Things like this do not happen to people like me, or anyone for that matter.

“I’m 60% serious. Let me talk to my wife and make sure she’s ok with it. You’d have to quarantine and I need to talk to the home-owners association.”

I make an attempt at reasonable, rational adult thinking, but this guy that I haven’t spoken to in 27 years has just handed me the ultimate dream on a silver platter out of the ether. It’s surreal. It can’t be true.

Later that evening I joined the boys over at my ex’s for our now routine pandemic dinners. I shared news of the phone call with the kids, but had yet to look at the house. I ask,

“What should I do?”

My youngest son Ben says without pause in deadpan expression, “You’re moving to Hawaii. Duh,” and walks away.

I would live in a run-down shack if it meant I could get back to my favorite place on the planet. In our five short years living there before moving to Vermont, Hawaii had seeped into my bones and stayed. The longing was ritual. I was an annoying broken record about it. Every single person in my life knew I wanted to live there again. Stuck in Vermont with my heart in Hawaii….sigh.

We have yet to look at the VRBO listing. It was feeling like Christmas in mid-April after a month of dismal groundhog day pandemic lock-down. This was potentially thrilling news. My oldest Oliver suggests,

“Bust it out mom. Let’s see the digs. Wait…who is this guy again?”

We’re rendered speechless. Flattened. With cheshire grins we scroll through infinity pool perfection. Sweeping views of the coast, a master suite, lanai for days. It’s the kind of home Kim Kardashian throws a weekend house party in – reality tv material. Oliver starts chanting and dancing,

“You’re moving to Hawaii! You’re moving to Hawaii!! You’re moving to Hawaii!!!” Followed closely by, “And I’m coming.”

This was exactly one month and one day ago. I’m moving to paradise alone in a pandemic. It is happening to ME. Terrifying. thrilling, sad, exciting, hard, nerve wracking, exhausting, compelling, risky, lonely, courageous, bold, spontaneous, brave, terrifying….full scope of human emotion in big sets flowing in. This is happening. With a one week stopover in Portland to see my parents, I’m on my way.

Sometimes, the universe delivers.

(* In the interest of privacy, I have changed some names.)

Aloha Ali

11 Comments

  1. Laurie Bird

    June 23, 2020

    I’m excited to follow your blog, Ali! This was meant to be!

  2. Sandra Wallace

    June 24, 2020

    I want to keep track of you in your new life. I hope it is okay that I signed up for anything you post.

    Big hugs,

    Sandie

    • Aloha Ali

      June 24, 2020

      Of course Sandy! I’m honored – truly. My whole intention with this is to share the joy and aloha! xoxoxo

  3. Lee

    June 24, 2020

    Wow this is so good! Congratulations I’m so happy for you!

    • Aloha Ali

      June 24, 2020

      Thank you Lee! Yes, this is an incredibly lucky break and I’m soaking up every second. Aloha for miles and hopefully many years.

  4. Tarnie

    June 24, 2020

    Hi Ali! Congrats and girl… I feel ya… I’ve been trying to get myself back to Maui for 7 years. They say when you arrive to any Hawaiian island you either feel the ALOHA SPIRIT or HI spits you out!! I felt the spirit and it sounds like you did too! Enjoy and keep in touch and One day our paths may join again in Hawaii!
    Mahalo for sharing your story. I can’t wait for more.
    Xox

    • Aloha Ali

      June 24, 2020

      Thank you Tarn! I am definitely a feeler of the Aloha. It never left me – not for one second. I am so thrilled to be back.Please let me know if the Maui dream materializes and I will keep the stories rolling. xoxo

  5. Phillip Peterson

    June 24, 2020

    Rad

    • Aloha Ali

      June 25, 2020

      You know I was channeling the Mighty Manatees in that pool harness!

  6. Jackie Boland

    June 24, 2020

    Awesome Ali – glad you are back in Hawaii. You are a terrific writer! I’m on Oahu but let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

    • Aloha Ali

      June 25, 2020

      Thank you Jackie! I’m really looking forward to an Oahu jaunt to reconnect with my peeps and meet those beautiful girls of yours. I will keep you posted on the “figure out how to stay” developments. I’m determined – this is meant to be.

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I was handed an opportunity to house-sit for 4 months in Hawaii. I sold all my stuff and jumped ship from Vermont in the midst of a global pandemic. This is my story of the mid-life shift to aloha.

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